


Mantle Grafting

by decrystallize



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-20 09:51:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4782986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decrystallize/pseuds/decrystallize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An incident at Rose's fountain almost costs Pearl her life. When she comes back from her gem, something isn't quite right. (Will add more character/general tags as I update) Takes place after Nightmare Hospital, canon-divergent as of Catch and Release.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

                Something was clogging the chambers of Rose's fountain again.

                This was the third time since their initial visit to heal Amethyst nearly a year ago. After such a close call, it was decided that the gems should regularly check on the healing springs to maintain it. Even if and when Steven's own healing powers returned, it was a good idea to have it up and running, for practical and sentimental reasons. It should have been simple to manage.

                But every time someone came to look after the plants growing there, the fountain itself was bone dry. There was never any dense overgrowth of brambles, so while they certainly contributed to the initial blockage, they couldn't have been the main source. Even stranger, the plants and rocks piled into the chambers looked like they were glued together with some sort of resin that was thicker and more abundant each time.

                These weren't just accidents. Something was _living_ in there.

                "I don't understand," Pearl said while using her spear to get some still-gooey resin off of her foot. "How did we miss these nests the first time? I don't remember there being any of this…whatever this is."

                 Amethyst shrugged, not taking her eyes off of the basketball-sized glob of dark reddish-brown goo she was squishing between her palms. "It probably got washed away or something."

                "Amethyst, don't play with that! You'll get--uggh!" The resin dried quickly it seemed, as Pearl's weapon was then stuck to her shoe. She struggled to pry the two apart while Amethyst laughed. "It isn't funny!"

                "I think it's hilarious!" She let go of the ball to let it splat on the ground. Or tried to, anyway. "Huh?" Amethyst pulled and pulled, eyes widening in growing confusion and frustration, but her hands stayed right where they were. "Oh, come on!"

                "Now you're stuck," Steven said with a giggle.

                "Shh," all three looked to Garnet, who was about fifteen feet ahead of them. "Do you hear that?"

                _Rustle, rustle._

                They all looked around, silent, listening carefully.

                _Rustle, rustle, glug._

"I think it's coming from over there." Amethyst popped the resin bubble and pointed to a small hole in the ground near the wall, which was strangely devoid of any kind of debris. The gurgling started up again, louder this time.

                "Everyone stand back," Garnet said, and they all complied. While she and Amethyst summoned their weapons, Pearl finally managed to yank her spear away from her shoe. Steven, meanwhile, took one step too many and tripped backwards into another empty hole.

                "Ahh, I'm stuck!" Luckily he didn't fall in; just a leg was dangling over the edge. But there was a puddle of fresh sap on the ground, and he landed right in it. Something gurgled and hissed from inside the hole.

                "Steven!" Garnet reached the hole just as a snake-like wave of opaque yellow resin shot out of it. It accumulated into a large, hulking beast far too huge to fit in through where it came from and hardened, pushing her away from Steven before she could even begin to help. A long translucent tendril grew from its back, and with a screech it coiled it around Steven and ripped him from the ground, waving him high in the air.

                It tightened its hold on him, and the gems all heard a faint but unmistakable _crack._ They couldn't see through his shirt, but they all knew immediately what it was by the look on Steven's face and the way he shuddered in its grip.

                His gem was damaged.

                Amethyst grabbed the tendril with her whip, and Pearl helped her pull while Garnet jumped up to get to Steven. But the creature grew another appendage and tore her away. It wound up the arm holding her until it looked like a tightly-wound spiral pillar, then unwound and flung her so fast that she slammed into the wall with enough force to create a leak from the adjoining chamber. The impact wasn't just bad enough to separate Ruby and Sapphire; worse, it was bad enough that they poofed into their gems instantly.

                And then, it was winding up its other arm.

                A gem that was already cracked would be in trouble if facing that kind of blow, nevermind being cracked and half-human. If it threw Steven with even half the force it had Garnet, he wouldn't stand a chance. Amethyst tugged harder on her whip while Pearl scrambled as quickly as she could to scale the creature, reaching Steven just as it flung him away. She had just enough time to curl her body protectively around him, hoping that it would be enough.

                At that point the leak had grown into a steady gushing of healing tears, which on one hand was pretty convenient. On the other hand, Pearl didn't have time to even think about positioning herself for her own safety. She hit the hard wall head-first.

                _CRACK!_

Water spewed from the broken chamber, washing away everything in its path. Steven opened his eyes at the moment of impact, just in time to see three distinct, jagged chunks of a shiny white gem flow away from him.

                "PEARL!"

\------------

                When Steven was born,  it wasn't like anything Rose had anticipated. Not that she could have known; after all, it wasn't like there were any other half-gem, half-human beings running around before then. She'd considered many possibilities. Maybe her own consciousness would melt away into nothing as his came into being. Maybe the two would morph together into something else entirely, like getting lost inside a fusion. Maybe it would be more like retreating into her gem, and she'd be surrounded in a warm sea of dark pink, unaware of and unable to communicate with her son or the world around him.

                It turned out to be a lot more like watching a movie, in a weird sort of way. At first she could sense everything, albeit through a haze, like she was having a vivid daydream she had no actual control over. It was amazing, but lonelier than she would have liked. It would have been nice to at least interact with Steven on a subconscious level, but even that seemed to be off the table. Still, the experience was wonderful for what it was.

                She was able to experience his first steps, his first incoherent mumblings, his first actual, semi-coherent words. It was more exciting than she could possibly have imagined, while it lasted. Slowly but steadily, it all began to fade. As her son got more confident in his steps, more sure in his words, the haze around her condensed into a thick fog. Eventually, she was submerged in that sea of pink she once theorized she might have started out in, with no physical form but still with a sense of security and contentment.

                For a while she could still hear. It was faint, and rarely ever complete sentences, but it was enough that she had no trouble recognizing the voices. Eventually that stopped too.

                Then, one day, there was a loud, jarring _crack._ Suddenly the world around her shook violently, and everything became blindingly bright; a few minutes later there was a second, louder crashing sound. The last thing she heard was her son's voice cry out, somehow sounding distant.

                "PEARL!"

                Then everything went white.


	2. Chapter 2

                By the time Sapphire pulled herself out of the muck, the floodwaters had waned and the broken wall was patched with mud and debris. For once, the healing spring's recent tendency to become clogged worked to an advantage. The first thing she did was walk to where she knew she would find Ruby nearby. Her other half was still waist-deep in mud, grumbling as she clawed at the nearby boulders to try and pull herself out. Sapphire wordlessly offered her hand, and soon the two were standing in a silence thicker and more oppressive than anything the flood or that creature could have conjured.

                Ruby spoke first. "Did you see any chance of…?" She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

                "No. What did you see?" It was a pointless question. Whatever they saw as Garnet, they saw together. Future vision was different from other thoughts inside a fusion; they couldn't hide any possible outcomes from each other even if they wanted to, and never in the thousands of years they'd been fused had a vision shown itself to one but not the other.

                But sometimes, it was hard to resist grasping at straws.

                "Steven might still be hurt, but not bad. We can dunk him in the fountain if he sprained or broke something." Sapphire nodded in agreement, and Ruby continued. "Amethyst's fine, but we don't need future vision to know that. You know she only gets herself hurt over stupid stuff."

                In another situation, Sapphire may have laughed at that. But there was one other gem to be accounted for, and they both saw the inevitable future before Garnet hit the wall. Many streams branched out behind it, possibilities they didn't even have a chance to catch a glimpse of, but it all came back to a single, indisputable image: Pearl, ripped to pieces. Shattered.

                "Are you coming?" Sapphire had started to move down the path, but stopped and turned when Ruby didn't follow. She could barely hear her mumbling to the ground.

                "I never got a chance to talk to her."

                "What?"

                "I wanted to talk to her. About Sardonyx. I know it was a while ago, and Garnet started to forgive her and you did too, but I was still so _mad_ and I wanted to talk to her about it on my own. Not fused, just the two of us, and work things out. But I didn't wanna say anything to you until I was ready to do it and I…I…" Her hands were balled into fists, and Sapphire could see the tears falling to the ground. "I waited too long. I wanted to stop being stubborn and talk it over like a normal gem and _I waited too long."_

Sapphire put her hands on her shoulders and gave a reassuring squeeze. She spoke in a tone that was gentle and calm even for her. It was hard, but she managed to keep her own voice from wavering too much through her own tears. "Ruby, it's okay--"

                She pulled away and threw her hands into the air. "No, it's not okay! NOTHING'S OKAY! I always do this, Sapphire! I always do this and I never learn! Even in the war when we all _knew_ we could die at any moment and I still…a-and now Sulfur's in that cluster, and I never said goodbye to Rose, and Pearl's gone too and…" Ruby finally screamed in anger and kicked the wall. She wasn't even burning hot. She was angry, yes, but it was overshadowed by an overwhelming grief.

                Sapphire wiped her eye on the back of her glove before gently hugging Ruby and kissing her forehead. "You don't have to be so angry with yourself, Ruby. It's not your fault. There will always be circumstances even we can't foresee."

                Ruby clung tightly in response, burying her face in her shoulder as she started to tremble. "It still hurts."

                Sapphire nodded, blinking fresh tears from her eye. "I know."

\------------

                "Steven!"

                "I'm okay!" He stuck his hand up and waved from the bush he washed up behind. Amethyst was there pulling him up before he could stand himself. He shook some mud out of his hair and brushed himself off, then lifted his shirt just enough to show her his gem. "See? Good as new! It must have gotten fixed when me and Pearl went through the wall." He frowned, then lowered his shirt. "Um, Amethyst? We can still put her back together, right?" He had the sinking feeling he already knew the answer to that, but no answer came. Amethyst was already ten feet ahead of him and walking farther.

                Steven jogged to catch up. "I mean, the broken gems you guys have bubbled are all little shards," he picked up the pace as she started to walk faster, "and we were already in the water so maybe that helped and she's okay. Right?"

                "Quit asking questions and start looking around," Amethyst snapped without so much as glancing at him. Steven didn't make a sound after that. At least, not until several minutes later when he caught a glimmer of white stuck in the mud.

                "I think I found something." Amethyst was at his side in an instant, pulling him back as she eyed the shiny object warily. She looked away.

                "Don't look. Let me… I can handle this. Just, give me a minute okay?"

                As much as it unnerved him, he couldn't look away. Soon he heard Amethyst take a deep breath and saw her make a stiff, awkward step forward.

                Then she bunched her hands in her hair and shook her head. "Ugh, I can't!"

                "I can do it," Steven said meekly, and with all the enthusiasm one would be expected to have for digging up a loved one's remains.

                "No, I'm not making you--"

                " _I'll_ do it," Garnet stated as she rounded the corner. Amethyst and Steven looked at her. Neither one questioned whether she knew the severity of the situation. They didn't have to.

                They stepped back as she crouched down in the mud. Her hand trembled, so slightly that it was almost imperceptible. She hesitated a moment more before shoving her hand into the mud to grasp the chunk of stone.

                Except, it wasn't a chunk at all. Garnet gasped.

                "What?" She pulled it out, staring open-mouthed in shock. It wasn't a mistake; when she wiped the mud away from it, it was definitely Pearl's gem.

                And it was _flawless._ Not so much as a hairline fracture. "It's not possible!"

                "M-maybe it was a trick of the light, and I only thought I saw her get broken," Steven suggested.

                Amethyst shook her head. "I saw it too. She was _gone,_ Steven."

                Garnet turned the gem over in her hands, treating it as gently as if it were made of paper-thin glass. "The tears…she must have made contact with them so quickly, they were able to knit her gem back together."

                "So she'll be okay!" Steven said with a hopeful grin. It wavered and fell almost immediately. "Right, Garnet?"

                Garnet looked to Steven, then back to Pearl's gem. After a few moments that seemed to stretch into an eternity, she spoke.

                "I can't see."


	3. Chapter 3

** Week One **

                _Do-DOO-dodo-doo. Do-DOO-dodo-doo. Do-DO--_

"Hi, Connie."

                "Hi Steven," Connie said carefully. She could tell right away from his voice that something was wrong. "Are you alright?"

                "I don't really feel like talking about it right now."

                "I understand. I can call back later--"

                "No no! I'm okay to talk about other stuff."

                "Oh, good! Listen, do you think Pearl would be okay with going to lunch with my mom? She wants to talk to her about our sword training. I tried to explain that the gems don't need to eat and Pearl doesn't _like_ eating, but my mom says it's the principle of the thing. It would be 'more appropriate to discuss my concerns in a neutral environment'. …Steven? Are you…crying?"

                Steven sniffled and rubbed at his eyes. They were a little watery, but otherwise he was okay. "No."

                "Did something happen to Pearl?"

                His voice cracked. "Yes."

** Week Two **

                "Do you think she's going to be back soon?" Steven asked when Amethyst walked into the kitchen. He put his sandwich down to turn his attention to the basket Pearl's gem was nested in. "It's been almost as long as it was the first time."

                Amethyst just shrugged and grunted. She opened the fridge door and stared apathetically at its contents. It looked more like she was just giving herself something to do than actively looking for a snack. She'd been doing that a lot lately.

                "What's the longest gems usually--"

                _SLAM!_

Amethyst shut the fridge with so much force that the door popped open again. Then she was heading to her room.

                Steven didn't see her again for five days.

** Week Three **

                "Garnet? Can I ask you something?"

                Her only response was to turn her head slightly towards him.

                "What makes a gem take a long time to heal? Does it have anything to do with how bad they were hurt?"

                "Not really."

                "So, what's the longest time you've heard of it taking?"

                "Mm…about three weeks."

                Steven perked up with a wide smile. "That means Pearl should be back soon, right?"

                "…"

                "Garnet?"

** Week Four **

                "Dad, dad!" Steven ran excitedly to where Greg was standing in the car wash, working on some wiring that shorted out the other day.

                "Wow, what's gotten you so excited all of a sudden?"

                "My healing powers are back! I think the flood at the fountain fixed them!"

                "What--really? That's great! How can you tell?"

                "I cut my thumb on a can when I was taking out the recycling and LOOK!" He held up his left hand in a thumbs-up gesture. There was some blood on his palm and fingers that had leaked down from what must have been a pretty nasty cut, one that might have required a couple of stitches. But there wasn't any indication that a cut had ever been there. Greg grimaced.

                "Geez, talk about good timing. Looks like you just saved yourself a trip to the emergency room, kiddo."

                "That's not even the best part!"

                "It's not?"

                "No, this means I can help Pearl now!"

                Greg tried not to look as uncomfortable as he felt as his son ran off. He returned a short moment later, gem in hand. He licked his left palm and stuck it to the surface with a wet _smack._

                Nothing happened. Steven frowned, spat a large glob into his hand, and tried again.

                Still nothing.

                Greg stood and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't feel bad, okay? You tried."

                "Maybe she just needs more time. I'll try again in a few days."

                Greg took a deep breath. "Look, Steven, I don't think--"

                " _She's going to come back."_

"…Right. Okay."

** Week Five **

                "What's all this?" Greg looked warily but intrigued at the small pile of alien technology Amethyst dumped on the coffee table.

                "I dunno, some old gem tech. Pearl took it from the ship we got stuck in the last time we fought Peridot." From his bed, Steven looked away from the TV. It was the first time he heard Amethyst talk since she'd slammed the fridge all those weeks ago, if he counted grunting as talking. He hadn't seen her go near the kitchen since then. Or eat anything since this all started.

                "And you want to give it to me?"

"Yeah, she was all excited about it. Said it was some leftover parts from the closest thing Homeworld has to cars."

                "I dunno, are you sure it's safe for me to be messing with this stuff?

                "Yeah, it's fine. She was planning on working on it with you, but _someone_ convinced her to wait until your birthday." She motioned with her head to Steven's bedroom, unaware that he was watching from above. "She'd want you to have it."

                "Amethyst, what are you doing?!" Steven bounded down the stairs and began gathering the parts in his arms. "You _knew_ it was supposed to be a surprise. Now you ruined it! Aw, Pearl will be so disappointed."

               Amethyst gritted her teeth and looked like she was about to explode until Greg stepped in. "I don't mind, really! So it's a few months early. So what?"

              "No, it's not, because I'm putting these away until your birthday, and then Pearl can give them to you herself." He headed over to the temple door and opened Rose's room. Right before it closed, he turned around to shout, "And you had better act surprised!"

              Greg and Amethyst stared at the now shut door. Amethyst still looked absolutely livid.

              "You and Garnet still haven't told him?"

              Amethyst deflated. "We keep trying, but he doesn't want to hear it. He always changes the subject."

             "Oh boy."

             "More like oh _brother,"_ she grumbled before stomping off.

** Week Six **

             Steven was lying face down on the couch, waiting for Garnet and Amethyst to come back from...somewhere. He wasn't really paying attention to what they said. Well, what Garnet said. Amethyst had been giving him the silent treatment for the past week, for some strange reason. Every so often he lifted his head and glanced to the coffee table, where he'd placed Pearl's gem. Nothing ever changed. So he would sigh and hide his face back in the pillows.

             He rolled onto his back when the warp pad sounded so he could see them, and waited until Garnet was walking past the couch to speak. "Garnet, can't you try using your future vision? I don't think I can handle all this waiting for much longer."

             He was so focused on waiting for Garnet to answer that he didn't notice Amethyst starting to shake. There was a venom in her voice he'd never heard before, and it made him bolt upright in shock. "Don't you think she's tried that, like, a million times already?! There are too many variables! She can't just...predict stuff like that!"

            Steven didn't know how to respond. He didn't even know Amethyst could _get_ that mad. "I-I'm sorry, I was just--"

            "I don't care what you have to say! I'm sick of seeing you carry that dumb, useless rock around! I'm _sick_ of it!"

           "Don't talk about Pearl like that!" Steven yelled and grabbed the gem, clutching it to his chest. He sounded more scared than angry. Somehow, the rage in Amethyst's voice managed to grow.

          "That's. Not. PEARL! It hasn't _been_ Pearl for almost two months!"

          "W-what are you talking about?"

          "Amethyst," Garnet warned, "I need you to calm down."

          "No! I'm not going to baby him anymore!"

          "We talked about this! If he's not ready--"

          " _I DON'T CARE!"_ She turned to Steven and began taking steps towards him. In response, he jumped up from the couch and began to back away. "She's _gone,_ Steven! Pearl's dead and she's not coming back! You don't think we've tried to fix gems in the fountain before? You don't think Rose tried? Even when we had all the shards, they wouldn't ever stay together! It's only a matter of time before it falls apart, and you can't do _anything_ about it, so stop acting like you can!"

          Steven's back hit the wall. "You...no one said anything about that!"

          "We _tried,_ Steven! We tried and you wouldn't listen!"

          "Amethyst! Relax!" Garnet tried to pull her back, but she just spun around and shoved her. There was barely enough energy behind it to make Garnet move.

         "Don't order me around! I don't want to listen to your dumb ideas anymore!"

        " _Amethyst!"_

        She didn't respond to Garnet. Instead she turned back to Steven, seeming to tower over him despite not being that much taller. "And _you,"_ she said, and yanked Pearl's gem from his hands. "I want you to get this thing out of my face!" She threw it as hard as she could. Steven turned to watch it break through the window and fly across the beach before landing In the water with a distant _plop._

         He stared, only blinking when his eyes began to burn, barely processing the steadily rising voices behind him.

         "Amethyst, what's _wrong_ with you?!"

         "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with YOU?! I'm the only one who's acting normal about this! It's like you don't even care!"

         "You know that isn't true. I'm just as broken up about this as you are!"

         "Yeah? Well you coulda fooled me!"

         "Don't say things like that!"

         "What are you gonna do, cry about it? Oh, wait! No, you won't, because you're freaking _heartless!"_

         "How _dare_ you--"

        The screaming match faded into incoherency as Steven fled to the shoreline.

         When he ran into the water, he could still hear them shouting back at the house. He couldn't tell what they were saying anymore. To be honest, he didn't care. He just wanted to get Pearl's gem back before it was too far away to retrieve.

         "Pearl!" He knew calling her name wouldn't help, even if she were still alive in there. Still, he continued to yell for her as he searched the water. "PEA--woah!" The next thing he knew he was being pushed up out of the water, and pulled towards the shore. "Lion? What were you doing in the ocean?" Once they were safely in the dry sand, Lion shook himself off and dropped something from his mouth. Steven hopped off his back, and gasped. "You found her!" Soon he was sitting in the sand with Pearl's gem in his lap, and Lion lying down behind him. "Thanks, Lion," he mumbled. Lion stretched and yawned.

         Steven sighed. "You know, I think I knew, since back at the fountain. But I didn't want to believe it." He leaned back against Lion, eyes turned toward the sky. "I guess I just wasn't ready to say goodbye." Steven squinted when the sun came out from behind the clouds, and looked back down at the lifeless thing in his hands. He hadn't even realized until then just how cold it was. "The first time you guys brought me there, I kept thinking about how I never met mom, so I couldn't be sad about her being gone. I mean, I've always been sad that I never got to meet her...but it felt kind of weird. I could never _miss_ her, not like you could. And I'd feel bad about that. I wanted to know what it felt like, to lose someone that important. Then I could feel the _right_ kind of sad.

         "But, you and Garnet and Amethyst were always kind of like my parents too. You all helped raise me. That made me feel a little better. Maybe I didn't feel the way I wanted to feel, but I had three moms! How many people get to say that?" It left a bad taste in his mouth, using the past tense like that. It was going to take a long time to get used to it. If he even ever _could_ get used to it.

         "So now..." Steven held the gem closer, knuckles turning white. "Now I _do_ know what it's like, to lose a parent. To lose a mom. But I wish I didn't. I really, really wish...."

          He choked on his words before he could finish them, tears blurring his vision.

        _Plip, plop, plip._

        "I'm gonna miss you, Pearl." He shut his eyes tight, and started to tremble. He could feel Lion rest his chin on his shoulder. "...Mom."

        _Plop, plip, plop._

        At first he thought the movement in his hands was due to his own sobs. It wasn't until he felt the gem free itself from his grasp that he looked up. Steven couldn't believe what he was seeing. He rubbed his eyes once when it floated a few feet up in the air, then a second time, so shocked he could barely _breathe_ properly, let alone stand.

       Pearl's gem was emitting a halo of bright, warm light.

       _She was coming back._


	4. Chapter 4

                Something was wrong.

                At first, Steven didn't notice anything was amiss. How could he? He'd only witnessed gem regeneration a few times, and all but one of Amethyst's were so rushed that they had looked different from the norm anyway. He couldn't possibly have been expected to know how unnerving it really was that the light stuttered as is morphed through Pearl's previous forms, as if it her gem couldn't quite remember them.

                "Amethyst! Garnet!" He turned his head to shout towards the house, tears of sorrow replaced with happy ones and smile so bright and wide his cheeks hurt. When he looked back to Pearl--what _should_ have been Pearl--he felt like he'd been thrown into a pool of ice. The light had stopped on her most recent form, flickering slightly around the edges. The flickering turned into static, making it appear more like bad video reception than anything that could exist in real life, complete with a choppy, out-of-sync sound Steven couldn't quite place.

                In videos, though, such glitches were simply annoying, if a bit funny. But this? This was _creepy._ And it only got worse when bits of the silhouette began to warp outwards in ways that just didn't make sense. Tiny slivers of light stretched and curled like fingernails growing too long too fast, branching out from too many points to count. Steven scrambled back when the slivers got a little too close for comfort, and Lion grabbed him by the back of his shirt and started pulling him away. He broke free to start running to the house, voice no longer elated but terrified. "AMETHYST! GARNET!"

                He could barely hear himself over the sound, which had become loud and coherent enough to name. It was Pearl, and she was _screaming._

\------------

_ Week One _

                When she died, it wasn't like anything Pearl had anticipated. Not that gems were known to give it too much thought; mortality was a silly thing to dwell on for beings that were close to immortal, after all. That was especially true for pearls, who just weren't built for dangerous situations. But as pearls went she was considered uncharacteristically reckless, and war made even the most resilient of gems wonder what they might be in for.

                The idea of an "afterlife" was a purely human concept, so that was off the table as far as she was concerned. The idea of a lack thereof, though, was something the two species shared. It was also the one that, until recently, Pearl had considered proven as fact. She had asked Sapphire once, after a particularly rough battle, what she saw in possible futures where she herself died. The answer had been "nothing".

                Sapphire went on to explain that she wasn't _unable_ to see past the moment of death. It wasn't even that the vision simply ended. Instead, it was as if she lost the power of future vision altogether. She didn't specify that she lost her very consciousness, but Pearl felt confident still that it was proof gems simply ceased to be after shattering. She took comfort in it. It was certainly better than the alternative.

                She had never considered it possible, not out of finding the idea silly, but out of fear and repulsion. Most agreed that the little hands and feet and other parts that sometimes formed out of discarded shards were mindless. Lifeless. No sentience whatsoever. The gem equivalent of an insect's legs twitching randomly after death. But some swore that they had seen such things move with _purpose._ Maybe they couldn't communicate, maybe they were strewn in too many different places to form any coherent thoughts, but maybe, just maybe, they were still alive in there.

                The thought was too terrifying to believe. It was too awful to be true. But then there was that mirror , the one which had been powered by a supposedly long-dead gem. Lapis Lazuli turned out to be very much alive, and very much aware of just how long she'd been stuck in such a state. Pearl still felt awful about it. No matter what side she'd been on during the rebellion, no one deserved _that._ If they had known, they could have at least bubbled her and put her consciousness on pause. Between that and those fusion experiments Garnet and Steven had encountered, Pearl didn't know what to think anymore. She just hoped that in the event of her own death, her gem's shards would be properly bubbled. Just in case.

                And now that she _had_ died, the result turned out to be something completely different.

                 First off, there was the pain. She'd been cracked a few times in the past, and she always figured dying would feel something like that. The cracks themselves would burn sharp while the rest of her gem went numb, which was odd since gemstones didn't have much sensation at all to start with. The numbness was always severe enough to be noticeable, even if the damage was slight.

                So yes, Pearl expected it to hurt, maybe even more than the worst fissures she'd experienced. But she never thought it would be quite so excruciating. Suddenly she was hyper aware of every single point of her being, both gem and body, inside and out. Instead of being made of light, it was like she was made of _fire._ And even that wasn't a good enough comparison. She'd been taken out by an explosion or two in her time,  and the pain didn't come _close_ to this.

                Then everything…dulled. It didn't dissipate into nothing as she ceased to exist. It didn't continue with the feeling of her mind being pulled in several directions as bits of her gem were separated. It simply dulled down into a pulsing throb centered around her forehead, which made little sense since with her body gone she didn't _have_ a forehead. She shouldn't have been able to comprehend the darkness around her either, without having any sense of sight.

                It took her a few minutes to realize that the reason it was so dark was because _her eyes were closed._

She opened them, and everything went white.

                 ------------

                "Steven!" Garnet shouted as she burst through the front door, Amethyst following close behind. They stopped at the top of the stairs just as Steven reached the bottom, panting as he held onto the end of the railing. He didn't make a move to ascend the stairs just yet.

                "What _is_ that?" Amethyst whispered. Her voice was choked and frightened.

                "I-I don't know what happened, it looked like she was coming back but--"

                "That's _Pearl?!"_ Amethyst looked at him incredulously, then back to the twisting, writhing thing growing near the shoreline. In the very middle, if she looked close enough, there was a vaguely humanoid shape. And that was definitely her voice piercing through the air.

                "Steven, I need you to get inside, and don't come out until I say so," Garnet said. Her gaze was fixed on the light ahead instead of him, and there was a hint of apprehension in her voice. "Amethyst, come with me!"

                "But," Steven said, turning as they both sped past him. "Hey, wait!" He started to run after them. Garnet turned her head back to shout over Pearl's screams, which seemed to be losing volume.

                _"Now!"_

"But I wanna help!"

                "You don't need to see this!" The apprehension in her voice had twisted into something else, something Steven had only heard from Garnet once before. He recognized it immediately, but it confused him. It didn't make any _sense._ What could make her that scared of Pearl?

                "Wha-- _uggh!"_ He collapsed into the sand mid-sprint, knees suddenly feeling like jelly. Amethyst doubled back to meet him and helped him sit up.

                "Steven! Are you okay?"

                "M-my gem, it…hurts," he mumbled, and started to shiver.

                "What? Let me see!" Before she could look, two voices began shouting over the dying screams up ahead. She and Steven looked up, shocked into silence.

                The tendrils were starting to retreat, and the form in the center of it all was beginning to warp and pulse like it was trying to stabilize itself. Lumps of color bubbled outwards then sank away, as if trying to break free from a shell made of light. What physical features showed through didn't make any sense. There were limbs growing from other limbs, a torso that fluctuated from near nonexistent to impossibly long and back in the blink of an eye, and bits of facial features that were gone before they could fully form at all. But the long, continuous scream, though fainter than before, was still going.

None of the shouting was coming from Pearl at all; both voices were Garnet's _._

" _We need to go back!_ "

                " **Go back?!  We have to help her!** "

                " _No, I don't--I can't watch this, not again! Not with--_ "

                " **Sapphire!** "

                " _There's nothing we can do!_ "

                " **We've got to TRY!** "

                " _I CAN'T!_ "

                Both voices were equally distressed, and that distress was still present when Garnet spoke as herself again. She took a step forward, left hand reaching out as far as it could, right paused halfway.

                "Pearl, listen to me! You need to--"

                _CRACK!_

There was a flash like lightning and a small blast that sent a cloud of sand billowing across the beach. As it settled, the three of them moved closer, wary gazes trained on the figure huddled in the center.

                For the most part, she looked the same as before, though it was hard to tell with the sand still muddying the view. She was on her knees, wheezing and gasping like someone who had just barely escaped being drowned. One hand was fisted in the sand, so tight her entire arm was trembling. The other was clutching at her stomach, as if she were in pain. When she looked up, her eyes seemed out of focus and vacant, and for a second the whites of her eyes looked tinged with yellow. But that was probably from the sand cloud.

                When she spoke, it was breathless and strained, but there was no mistaking what she said.

                "…Rose?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, sorry for the delay! Chapters should come fairly regularly from now on, every other day about. Also concrit and comments etc. are welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, maybe once a week is more realistic. Super long chapter here, and now you'll all see why it took me so long to get it out. This is definitely canon-divergent now!

_ Week Two _

                                Everything was splintered.

                It was the only way Rose could think to describe it. What was once a smooth, shiny white void was now littered with spider-web cracks and large tufts of crystal shards that jutted from every possible direction in thin, sharp points like needles. The void quivered around them, retreating and advancing as if it were deciding between pushing the offending splinters out or consuming them. As rough and damaged as it looked, she found a strange comfort in it.

                When she first appeared in this… _whatever_ it was barely over a week ago, the blinding white plains had felt awfully stifling, despite seeming to go on forever. In a sense, it was like a thick fog; it looked soft and delicate and like something pleasant to touch, but in reality was confining and heavy. She couldn't even remember the last time she felt so uneasy. Which was why she was honestly relieved when it all began to crumble.

                At first, she wasn't sure what was causing it. Sometimes she would turn around and there would be a new crack that hung in the middle of space, or a small clump of dark red that burst through the void like a nail through plywood. They looked sharp and foreboding, so at first she'd avoided them. As much as she disliked her new surroundings, the cracks and clumps were obviously some sort of intrusion. Rose figured it was best not to get too close.

                That is, until she stepped on a stone. Or rather, the stone seemed to rise up from the ground as if the sole of her foot had pulled it out. When she went to examine it more closely, the void stretched up and around it, covering it in the same pretty but unsettling white it had just pushed through. It happened too quickly to be sure, but Rose could have sworn that up close and at a smaller scale, it hadn't looked red at all, but _pink._ And for that split-second, she'd felt…safer. More at ease. _Content._

                It didn't take long after that for her to figure out that the shards weren't just random blemishes. They were _her_ blemishes. She was the intruder in this strange land, and she was leaving streaks of her own gem in her wake. And the void, whatever it was, was trying to consume her, and drown her out. And even though she felt bad about her presence being an irritant, she couldn't let it take her.

                So, Rose began to pull at the edges of the cracks and tear away milky chunks from the bases of the shards. She didn't know how long it would take, or if it would even be possible, but she was determined to dig herself out of there.

_ Week Three _

                Nine days had passed when she first heard it.

                _Cli-shhk. Cli-shhk._

Pearl thought it was her imagination at first. It had to be. Just like the sound of her footsteps, and the feet she had that made them. Just like the sensation of feeling her skin when she crossed her arms. Wherever she was, it wasn't real. It couldn't be. She was, after all, dead. This was all just a construct of what was left of her mind.

                Right?

                _Cli-shhhk. Cli-shhhk._

Apparently, humans had been partially right about the whole "afterlife" concept. What they hadn't correctly guessed was--to use Amethyst's vocabulary, because her own didn't quite cut it--how much it completely and utterly _sucked._

_Click-shhhk. Click-shhhk._

At first, she had theorized that her consciousness was still, somehow, inside her gem, despite it being in several pieces. The sea of white that enveloped her made that seem plausible. But there was one big problem with that, and it wasn't how her body seemed already formed and whole.

                _Click-click-cli-shhk. Click-click-cli-shhhhk._

It was just how _uncomfortable_ she felt. No matter how traumatic the event that caused her physical form to dissolve, there was always an immediate feeling of calm and contentment that followed. If she were simply inside her own gem, Pearl would have felt warm, and safe, and perhaps mildly aware of some of the conversations and actions on the outside, albeit through sensing instead of actually perceiving.

                _Click-click-cli-shhhhhhhhhhhhk_

And then, on top of that, there was that sound. And no matter what direction she went in or how fast she walked or ran, it kept getting louder. She could swear she was starting to get a headache from it.

                _Click-click-click-click-click-click-_

The noise on its own would have been bad enough. As it grew so did the feelings of discomfort and wrongness. Pearl didn't think it could possibly get any worse.

_CLICK-CLICK-CLI-SHHK_

Then everything began to break apart. It was small at first, hairline fractures that were so wispy and frail that they were almost imperceptible. But as the sound grew, so did they. Within days they had grown into large, deep cracks, big enough that she could easily slip between them and into the pinkish-red void beyond. She might have tried, if it didn't _burn_ when she got too close. But she couldn't simply avoid them, either. The cracks followed her wherever she went, warping the infinite space until it appeared finite and much too confining. She couldn't outrun them.

                Pearl couldn't take it anymore.

                "Go away! Whatever you are, just leave me ALONE!" She shouted at the pulsing cracks. For a few brief, blissful moments, the sound stopped.

                Then it started up again, ten times more booming and insistent than it had been before.

                CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK **CLICKCLICKCLICK---**

                She screamed in frustration, and began running again.

_ Week Four _

                She must have imagined it. It was the only explanation, and she knew it. Why would Pearl be _here?_ This place was getting to her, that was all. It was messing with her. She had to disregard it, and keep her focus on chipping away at the void.

                But no matter how much she tried to rationalize, Rose couldn't help but hold onto a speck of hope that she wasn't imagining it at all. It wasn't only silly, but selfish, too. If it was even possible for the both of them to be in this awful place, it would mean that not only would Pearl be suffering too, but the Crystal Gems would have lost yet another member just a short ten years after she left them. Pearl should be with the others. They _needed_ her, and Rose knew it.

                But every time she heard the cries of frustration or muffled shouts, it was always the same voice. And if she thought about it, the shimmering void did seem almost…

                No. That would make what she was doing so much worse. She'd never escape if she thought for even one second that she was hurting Pearl. It didn't even make any sense, logistically. If, by some awful miracle, she was really there with her, they were both trapped. And in that case, Rose needed to fight even harder, for both their sakes.

_ Week Five _

                She'd had it. Pearl had absolutely, positively _had_ it. She could barely take a single step without encountering those awful, searing shards, or nearly falling into a dark cavern. At this point, there was more pink than white surrounding her. As much as the initial void disturbed her, this was so, _so_ much worse.

                It was time to begin fighting back.

                "Go away!" She shouted as she tore at a clump of shards and tossed them aside. The void quickly absorbed them as they hit the ground. "Leave. Me. ALONE!" She cried as she kicked over another mound, causing half of the points to splinter off. It went on like that for what felt like hours, like _days._ No matter how hard she fought, no matter how quickly she took them down, they just kept coming back, bigger and stronger than before.

                Her entire body ached from both the physical strain and being so close to the offending crystals, but she didn't care. She wouldn't stop until they either consumed her or she removed them completely. She _couldn't_ stop. She would go mad in this place if she did.

                It was near the end of her thirty-first day in that awful, nightmarish place when she finally broke down. It was useless. She couldn't fight anymore. She was tired, and in pain, and she just…couldn't. So she curled up on the ground and waited for the reddish-pink shards to take over.

                They never did.

                But the clicking sound kept getting louder.

                A few days later, there was a loud, prolonged crack, like a wall had been broken through close by. She didn't bother looking up.

                Not until she heard a voice behind her, sounding just as beaten and exhausted as she felt, but with an edge of wonder, of _hope._

                "…Pearl?"

                She barely caught a glimpse of Rose before the void around them exploded.

_ Week Six _

                The cracks and caverns were gone. So were the chunks of crystal shards. Everything was smooth again, and this time it felt oddly calming. The blast had been over quickly, and in the aftermath Pearl could see the two opposing plains seemed to melt into each other. Everything was covered in soft, delicate swirls of white and pink, gently meandering across the landscape like eddies in a stream. There was still something…off about it, but as a whole it was much better than the previous arrangement.

                But something was still missing.

                "Rose!"She called out as she ran aimlessly across the plains, unsure of what direction she should even be heading in. _"ROSE!"_

"Pearl!"

                It was distant, but enough that she knew where to go. Soon Rose was in her line of vision, and Pearl darted to her as quickly as she could before pulling her into a tight embrace. In that moment, nothing else mattered. She didn't care about her own death, or about the prospects of being stuck in such a(still mildly unsettling) place most likely for eternity, or about anything going on in the outside world.

                Pearl knew she wasn't sleeping. She knew she wasn't dreaming. And somehow, she knew that this wasn't in any way her imagination. This was real. Rose was _here,_ holding her safe and secure in her arms, something she never thought would be possible again. Everything was _perfect._

                But then, she remembered what had gotten her into this mess in the first place. A damaged gem that wasn't her own, a last-ditch effort to prevent said gem from being destroyed, the harsh _crack_ of colliding with a stone wall at a speed she didn't even want to estimate--and if this was death, if this was the "afterlife", and Rose was here, then that meant…

                "Steven!" Pearl gasped, keeping her hold on Rose tight but pulling her head back enough to look up at her with wide, terrified eyes. "We were--and I--oh no, oh no no no--"

                "Shh, Pearl, it's alright", Rose said, brushing away the tears in Pearl's eyes. "Steven is okay. I don't know what happened, but I can promise you he's safe."

                "How can you be so sure?"

                "I…don't know," she admitted. "But I can sense it. I can _feel_ it. Please, believe me when I say that there's no need to be concerned."

                "Oh thank goodness," she said with a still-shaky voice as she rested her head again. She didn't have to ask twice; if Rose said Steven was alright, then he must have been alright.

                They stayed like that for some time, Rose gently stroking her hair and Pearl too overcome with emotions to do more than hold her tight and shudder with sobs of joy and relief, both from hearing Steven was okay and knowing Rose was right _there._ Eventually, Rose pulled back, but didn't break away completely from the hug. She lifted Pearl's chin with her hand so that their eyes met. "So," she said with a tired but warm smile, "it's been a while. What did I miss?"

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                They had an awful lot to catch up on. Ten years was short in the grand scheme of things, but it felt impossibly long when trying to cover everything there was to talk about. Pearl felt they barely had a chance to get started when it happened.

                "Oh, I wish you could have seen the play, you would have been _so_ proud!" Pearl's smile changed to a look of confusion when Rose chuckled. "What's so funny?"

                "You were so afraid that you wouldn't like him, but to me it sounds like you're his biggest fan."

                Pearl felt her face flush, and she stammered. "Well, I--"

                _Plip, plop, plip._

"Did you hear that?" It was a pointless question, since Rose had stopped and looked up at the same time. Before she could respond, a small dome of water emerged from the ground, and they both stood and took a step back.

                "What in the world--eek!" Pearl jumped to the side when something cold and wet touched her shoulder. A larger water globe had seeped out from seemingly nowhere, then ran down to the ground as if following an invisible wall.

                "Is someone…crying?" Rose said, more of an unsure observation than a question. She gasped in surprise as more water hit her head from above. It was cool, but not too cold. And it felt different from plain old rain. "This feels like--"

                "Your tears," Pearl finished her sentence for her, observing some of the liquid pooled into her hand. "I don't understand. These can't be _your_ tears; that voice sounds like--"

                _"I'm gonna miss you, Pearl",_ Steven's voice sounded from above, like it was being played over a loudspeaker yet still far away. There was a pause, filled with sniffles and small, quiet sobs. _"…Mom."_

"He…knows you're in here?" It didn't matter where "here" was anymore. The fact that Steven seemed to _know_ who he was talking to was bizarre. Something wasn't right.

                "I don't think he was talking to me, Pearl," Rose said gently with a smile. All other questions about what was going on were put aside as Pearl blushed, suddenly feeling all too self-conscious.

                " _What?"_ She laughed nervously, and began waving her hands. "No, no, don't be ridiculous, t-that doesn't make _any_ \--"

                _Plop, plip, plop._

The water began falling from above in a steady rain, just as Pearl placed her hand on Rose's arm.

                And it _burned._

They both gasped in pain, and when they moved away there were thin, gooey strings of pale pink and pearly white that stretched out between them, as if their skin had melded together on contact. The waters around them began falling more heavily, the pool around them steadily rising.

                "What is this?!" Rose grabbed at the strings to try and pull them apart, but it only resulted in her other hand being caught in the mess as well.

                "I don't know!" Pearl cried, just before a wave of water pushed her into Rose's side. The burning sensation grew more intense, and the strings that formed when they tried to pull away were suddenly thick, heavy vines.

                Then she noticed that the gentle swirls around them weren't swirls anymore. The edges were crumpling up sharply, forming harsh, jagged lines which stayed in place instead of meandering around. Something about them felt familiar, and made Pearl's stomach tie itself into knots. Where had she seen them before?

                "I can't get them to go away!" Rose was still struggling to tear them apart, or at least Pearl assumed she was, since her hands and arms weren't even distinguishable anymore. The same zigzag pattern was starting to form where their skin met, and suddenly it clicked.

                She had been in her gem the entire time. They both were. Not quite dead, but not quite alive, either. Simply dormant. _Gestating._

                Steven's gem had been damaged. She hadn't seen how bad, or if there were any shards that had fallen out. Theoretically, all it would take would be the tiniest sliver...

                "Oh no," Pearl whispered, frozen in place with fear. Rose stopped struggling for a moment to look at her, which was getting harder to do by the second; their bodies were practically _melting._

                "You…you know what this is?"

                Pearl took a shaky breath, a bunch of images and words from the last year connecting in her mind. She made eye contact with Rose, whose facial features she could just barely make out.

                _"She was talking about experiments. Do you think they have to do with what I heard her say on the spaceship?"_

                _"We need to poof and bubble all of them. We can't let any escape!"_

_"Go ahead! Wreck this place! See if I care, I already got what I needed!"_

_"Um, I think I might know what Peridot came here for. I heard her tell Jasper that--"_

The pain was too much. Pearl could barely keep her voice steady enough to get the words out.

                "We're clustering."


End file.
